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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26626519">Perpetual Blue</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarbelle/pseuds/jarbelle'>jarbelle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>wandering the manor of dreams [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Monsta X (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, M/M, Mystery, Set in Modern Times, despite what the summary says Hyungwon is in this fic, in his own way, wink wink, wink wink again, you can tag this fic as</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:01:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,544</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26626519</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarbelle/pseuds/jarbelle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After a car crash which resulted in Hyungwon's disappearance, Minhyuk embarks on a search that ultimately uncovers an untold story transcending time and space; all within a dream.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chae Hyungwon/Lee Minhyuk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>wandering the manor of dreams [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842895</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello, obligatory announcement that i chose not to use archive warnings but rated it as Explicit, so proceed at your own risk. Nothing too bad to my standard if you're still wondering what the rating entails, I just didn't want to spoil anything. ;))) (maybe ill add tags/warning later into the story)</p><p>Like I mentioned in the other part of the series, this story was inspired by one of my favorite old video games, Fatal Frame, particularly the third one. It doesn't totally follow the plot, but i just borrowed some ideas to complete my own original ideas that i had for this story because they fit really well so i just went with it :)</p><p>So if you are familiar with the video games or just ff3 then you know, if you're not, there's no need to have prior knowledge about it anyway, so why don't you go ahead and read this?</p><p>Oh and! As you can see this is part 2 of the series, the part 1 'Perpetual White' has been posted up to chapter 4.</p><p>They can be read as separate stories, meaning you don't have to read the other part to understand this story and vice versa. They will also have sequences to their updates, so if you have been following the first part to its latest chapter, you can just follow the subsequent updates of each story in real time to better enjoy the series.</p><p>If you're new to the series, you can start here and decide after if you want to read Perpetual White.</p><p>Or do whatever you want just like how im butchering this series :)</p><p>Anyway, enough rambling, remember everything is fictional and enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Minhyuk has always been scared of the water.</p><p>Especially large bodies of water; the flowing river, the ocean.</p><p>Such large bodies of water only meant there are spaces to drown in, that there are matters that would suffocate you, and they can beat at you until you’re pushed so far away or sucked in so deep that there would be no way getting back to where you once were.</p><p>He’s always imagined that if he were to walk into that water of the sea, the waves would pull and pull, and seduce him into the depth of the ocean that it would be so dark he can hardly see anything before he suffocates.</p><p>It’s a scary thought.</p><p>And that was how it felt like when he had stood in a white corridor one night, seeing red on his hands. The color wasn’t his. It wasn’t his blood.</p><p>“Minhyuk, are you okay?” And the familiar voice came, loud and hurried thudding footsteps echoing in the hall longer than Minhyuk had remembered before finally, there were white bony fingers reaching for his.</p><p>The hands eased the tremors in his hands so easily, despite the dried blood painting his skin.</p><p>When Minhyuk looked up into the concerned eyes, he knew he wasn’t okay. He was on the verge of breaking, he had never felt so fragile before, so shaken up. The screamings and threats earlier that night are still echoing in his head when he croaked out, “I’m fine, Hyungwon.”</p><p>It was an obvious lie.</p><p>So Hyungwon pulled him closer, wrapped his arms around him in the hospital corridor and said, “Lean on me.”</p><p>With those words echoing in his mind; for the first time that night, Minhyuk cried. Hot tears forced their way out of his shut eyes as he took in the familiar warmth and scent of Hyungwon.</p><p>The edges of a newly broken object are always so sharp. And Minhyuk’s edges were fresh, coming apart into sharp shards that pierced into himself, but never had it felt so relieving to break and be held together.</p><p>“You don’t have to endure it anymore. You have always been so strong. It’s okay to cry now. I’m right here.”</p><p>So he leaned on Hyungwon and cried his heart out. The suffocating feeling that had been enveloping him finally washing away like a receding seawave.</p><p>Even in the midst of all the ruins of his life, he felt like a lost boat safely taken to shore when he was in Hyungwon’s arms. Comforted, consoled.</p><p>When Hyungwon pulled back, he wiped away what was left of his tears, his fingers so soft against Minhyuk’s soaked cheeks. “Stay here. I’ll take care of the rest. This is the end of it, do you hear me?” His voice was soft, but firm.</p><p>Minhyuk nodded with stifled sobs, trusting him.</p><p>He had Minhyuk seated in the long white corridor before walking away to talk to the people dressed in white coats.</p><p>Minhyuk saw through the peripherals of his still teary eyes the dark blue silhouette of another person at the end of the corridor, just staring at him.</p><p>He blinked.</p><p>This was never part of the memory. </p><p>No one was supposed to be there. </p><p>This is a <em> dream </em>, Minhyuk realized.</p><p>Returning to wakefulness, Minhyuk heard the pelting rain on the asphalt first, before he opened his eyes with great difficulty. His body felt heavy and beaten down, as if he just crashed into reality.</p><p>It was dark, the empty road, saved for the streetlights lining the bridge.</p><p>The only thing in his sight was his hand decorated with red, the spilling color washing away with the rain droplets like eerie tree branches. The one ring on his finger gleamed as he struggled to move his fingers— anything to feel that he was still alive.</p><p>And he saw the broken railing on the bridge, opening up to the plunge into the great darkness.</p><p>And all the rainwater pooled around him, all the pain came in an instant as his eyes rain like the sky too.</p><p>“No,” he only managed to rasp out under the loud rain. “<em> No </em>.”</p><p>And he wailed with nothing, because everything had left him while the darkness was colored with blue and red.</p><p>And the approaching sirens screamed louder than the storm.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s raining again. The pitter patter of the rain through the window is muffled from inside the house.</p><p>“I stocked up the fridge for you,” hands pull the blue curtains drawn, and it glows blue from the remaining light outside. “I can cook us something, if you’re hungry?”</p><p>Minhyuk looks up from where he is seated; on the large bed, hands strangely empty. “No thanks, Kihyun.”</p><p>His friend sighs a little, turning on the lights so the room wouldn’t be so dark. Seeing how Minhyuk doesn’t seem to be making any move to do anything, he strides towards the bags he had placed on the bedroom floor, promptly taking things out.</p><p>All Minhyuk’s belongings. Some sweaters he has brought over to the hospital so Minhyuk wouldn’t feel so cold in the bare room. Some books and magazines too. Minhyuk barely read them. Always finding his thoughts elsewhere, or just surrendering to sleep just so he wouldn’t have to be awake in his aloneness.</p><p>The hospital is a setting that brings back painful memories. Even if the memory of being held in the familiar white corridor and of hands that stilled his tremors was part of it, Minhyuk still hated every second he had to spend there. Let alone all by himself.</p><p>Kihyun shuffles here and there in the bedroom, putting the books on the table by the window, stuffing his sweaters into the drawer, and when it’s full, he moves to the next drawer.</p><p>And Minhyuk watches the way the clothes inside jut out as soon as Kihyun has pulled the drawer out.</p><p>Noticing whose clothes those are, Kihyun blinks, and pushes the drawer close silently.</p><p>Minhyuk looks down at his hands. He rubs his palm on the back of one of his hands, watches the way his skin gets red from the friction. The wounds on his knuckles have healed. He was told he heals fast.</p><p>The mattress dips beside him when Kihyun takes a seat next to him.</p><p>“We can go to my place instead?” He offers.</p><p>Minhyuk shakes his head without having to think about it. His fingers find the ring he wears, and he holds it, turns it round and round on his finger.</p><p>He doesn’t want to leave the house. Not when it’s the only place he can really <em>feel</em> <em>him</em> there. Right now he’ll take anything he can get just to feel <em>his</em> presence.</p><p>“He’s still out there,” Minhyuk murmurs, forehead creasing. “They haven’t found him yet, so he must be out there, maybe he survived and went somewhere else?”</p><p>He looks at his friend and is met with a worried pair of eyes.</p><p>“Minhyuk, it’s been—”</p><p>“No,” Minhyuk shakes his head quickly, eyes tearing up. That’s what the police told him too in the hospital after the two nights of searches that resulted in nothing. But he refuses to believe it. Not when even the car hasn’t been found. “<em> Hyungwon’s still out there </em>.” </p><p>He must be. Even if the police told Minhyuk it was unlikely that he had survived the accident. Even if the search and rescue team come up with nothing every single second they spent at the river. They could barely search in the series of heavy rains and strong river currents recently but that doesn’t mean what they are searching for cannot be found.</p><p>And Minhyuk’s only been holding onto the hope that Hyungwon will return soon. Safe and sound. He doesn’t know how but he <em> will </em> return. If not then why else should he go on like this? Coming to an empty home, devoid of the presence of the other?</p><p>It’s the only thing keeping him going, and the only reason he would wake up to the agonizing pain of being alone instead of staying in the slumber of dreams.</p><p>Kihyun holds his hand, and he stops fidgeting with his ring. And he just stares at Minhyuk, before sighing a little, “I’ll stay in the guest room meanwhile? Look after you?”</p><p>Minhyuk nods, feeling relieved of the response somehow.</p><p>Kihyun then pats him on the shoulder and walks out to presumably unpack his things in the guest room.</p><p>The bedroom is silent saved for the rain again, and Minhyuk turns around, looks at the bed he’s sitting on.</p><p>Flashes of that night came to his head instantly, and he clutches at his hair, flinching. </p><p>Spinning, spinning, the memories are thudding, pounding in his head, the brakes, the wheels are shrieking on the wet asphalt and Minhyuk just remembers a hard crash and shattered glass.</p><p>And the pain subsides as he’s panting on the bed, the sheets crumpled in the other hand. And like the fading pain, the memories faded too, and he’s left with the silence and emptiness again.</p><p>He cries into the sheets.</p><p>Angry, helpless.</p><p>Feeling useless, when Hyungwon’s out there, and he could barely remember the crash to even help find him, and that he’s here.</p><p>With injuries that healed, and no knowledge of what pain Hyungwon must be facing.</p><p>And that’s what hurts the most.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kihyun had only called him to come down to have dinner.</p><p>He had ordered some noodles, and Minhyuk could barely eat.</p><p>Kihyun doesn’t force him to though, just cleans up the table after, talking about nothing.</p><p>About that tv show on the tv playing in the background. About things he will do while he stays there; feed the cat, buy the cat’s food, clean a little here and there maybe.</p><p>He doesn’t tell Minhyuk to do any of those even if those should have been Minhyuk’s chores. Doesn’t ask for help either. Just lets Minhyuk know that things will be taken care of.</p><p>Minhyuk feels too numb to tell him how much it means to him, but Kihyun has taken his hand on the table and offered him a smile and a wish of a good night.</p><p>He then retreats into the guest bedroom.</p><p>Minhyuk finds Luna under the couch in the living room, sitting there quietly. She blends with the darkness under the couch with her black fur, eyes glowing to show her presence. Luna has always been a quiet feline, resting here and there in the house. Doesn’t need much attention, but doesn’t reject any either.</p><p>Minhyuk loves her.</p><p>“Come here,” he pats the floor, prostrating on the floor just to be on the same level with the cat. </p><p>The cat stares at him and gets up languidly, scurrying to his hands to receive soft rubs. She purrs once she’s in Minhyuk’s arms, and Minhyuk scratches at her ears as he walks up the stairs to get into the bedroom.</p><p>As soon as he’s in the hallway Luna squirms, and he has to let go, surprised that the cat was completely adamant to be let down. And she lands on the floor softly, before padding towards the room at the end of the hallway. She sits tall in front of the silent door.</p><p>Minhyuk doesn’t follow, just stares at her waiting there. </p><p>She has always favored Hyungwon. Despite Minhyuk picking her up from the shelter on the day the adoption came through. Despite Minhyuk always being the more affectionate one and sneaking in treats to give her.</p><p>Luna would always find her way on to Hyungwon’s lap when he’s working in the study, always hunched over the computer or some books on the research he’s doing.</p><p>But Minhyuk knows Hyungwon’s not there in the study.</p><p>Luna should know by now that there hasn’t been anyone in the study.</p><p>So Minhyuk walks to the cat, picks her up again. He then stares at the quiet wooden door, while the cat purrs in his arms, rubbing her face against his shoulder.</p><p>Minhyuk contemplates turning the doorknob and pushing the door open. Like he would when he’s calling Hyungwon to come down for dinner, berating him for not leaving the door open so he could just call him from downstairs. Berating him for being so absorbed in his research he doesn’t remember it’s time for dinner.</p><p>Yet he turns around, ignores the door to his bedroom and finds himself knocking on the door of the guest bedroom downstairs instead.</p><p>Kihyun immediately answers the door, looking alarmed.</p><p>“I just—” Minhyuk takes a deep breath as he’s adjusting his cat in his arms. “I couldn’t sleep.”</p><p>Kihyun blinks, letting him in. He doesn’t seem to be preparing to go to sleep either.</p><p>He’s brought his computer over. There are some files and books on the usually empty desk. He has even moved the small pot of fake flowers Minhyuk had put there for decoration on to the bookshelf filled with old magazines and books— mostly Hyungwon’s collection.</p><p>Minhyuk lets Luna down on to the floor and sits on the bed while Kihyun sits at the desk again.</p><p>He’s working on some photos, Minhyuk sees, loaded up on a software. But Kihyun closes the windows, including some articles, and more photos.</p><p>There are his cameras on the bookshelf too. The batteries charging by the outlet on the wall, wires coiled around one another. The guest room has never looked so lived in before.</p><p>“I was just doing some work,” Kihyun explains, tidying up some files on the desk.</p><p>“What are you working on?” Minhyuk asks, noticing Luna making herself comfortable on one level of the shelf.</p><p>Kihyun turns on the chair, licking his lips. “I was looking through some photos I took back at a research site…” He seems to be hesitating to answer, like he might say something wrong, so Minhyuk offers to continue for him.</p><p>“The site you and Hyungwon visited before?”</p><p>Kihyun nods.</p><p>“It’s this new thing he’s writing on, right?” </p><p>Kihyun nods again.</p><p>Hyungwon’s told him before he started working on it. Happy that he got the grant for the research. It’s some cases that he’s interested in, says some unlikely things are somehow connected and he would like to write about it. Learn more about it. And he’s asked Kihyun to be in charge of the photos.</p><p>The two of them were always working together on whatever has taken their interest.</p><p>Minhyuk doesn’t understand them sometimes, their projects, but they make for fascinating discussions over dinners. Hyungwon’s passionate and always curious. And he likes that.</p><p>Kihyun stares at him as he gets a little lost in his thoughts, and sighs.</p><p>“It’s late isn’t it?” Kihyun mutters, turning the computer off.</p><p>Minhyuk nods as he scoots over from Kihyun’s nudge.</p><p>“Let’s sleep.” Kihyun pats the bed, lying down and looking at Minhyuk expectantly.</p><p>Minhyuk lies down as Kihyun turns off the bedside light.</p><p>It takes a long time for Minhyuk to do so compared to Kihyun, but Minhyuk sleeps next to him for the night.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minhyuk dreams.</p><p>He thinks he’s walking along the river at night. The ground is white with snow. The sound of it crunching under each of his steps so vivid and crisp. When he looks up the moon is full and bright in the night sky.</p><p>There are trees everywhere, and they rustle in the darkness.</p><p>The darkness doesn’t bother him, the moon’s bright enough.</p><p>And he thinks he sees someone walking ahead of him.</p><p>The person’s pretty far ahead, their way lighted up in blue, and he can’t make out the silhouette enough in the night to identify who it is. Just feels the familiar feeling of following someone in the night.</p><p>Feels like he adores the backview of the dreamy, familiar silhouette.</p><p>Feels like he’d follow the person till the end of the river if he has to.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kihyun left Minhyuk home alone to run some errands, always busy, always doing something. Said that he also has to check up on his sister all alone back home, always the responsible eldest of his family. Minhyuk had always wondered if he would turn out the same if the incident that left his sister on a wheelchair didn’t happen. Maybe Kihyun would be less uptight, he had always thought. </p><p>Maybe Kihyun felt guilty that he couldn’t take care of her before, and is compensating for all of it now, Hyungwon had also reasoned for Minhyuk.</p><p>Minhyuk washed up with hot water once he was sure Kihyun had left, and found a warm sweater to wear. And then he’s just standing in his bedroom, looking over everything.</p><p>He pulls at the drawers, takes out a shirt and brings it up to his nose.</p><p>Taking in a deep breath, the cloth only smells like laundry and the wooden furniture. No trace of the owner. He puts it back disappointedly.</p><p>He sits on the bed then, placing a hand on the pillow, opposite of his side on the bed. He bends down to bury his face into it.</p><p>And Hyungwon floods his mind.</p><p>Floods the house with his presence. Always languidly sitting on the couch in the living room if he’s not working in the study, reading some poetry books for leisure.</p><p>Always pampering Luna by letting the black cat climb him however she pleases.</p><p>Always telling Minhyuk how lucky he is they met in this lifetime, and how lucky he is to have Minhyuk when they’re lying on the bed.</p><p>Sitting in the car, while it plunged off the bridge.</p><p>Minhyuk gasps for air as he pulls his head up, eyes teary and hot from the intrusive memory. He’s shaking on the bed at the images of Hyungwon everywhere in the house, smiling at him when he sees him, and also the images of Hyungwon pulling at the steering wheel and the world turning upside down out the windows.</p><p>And it’s raining outside.</p><p>The room is blue from the curtains and the rain.</p><p>He looks down at his fingers and they’re shaking, the ring glinting as they do so.</p><p>Something knocks at the window and he flinches in surprise, only to find raindrops trailing down the glass, racing each other.</p><p>Feeling unsettled, he doesn’t think he should stay there in that bedroom somehow, so he walks out of the bedroom. Right at that moment the doorbell rings.</p><p>He scurries downstairs to the entrance, waking Luna from her sleep on the coffee table as he runs past the living room.</p><p>When he peeks through the peephole it’s just a delivery man.</p><p>He fixes his hair and wipes at his face to feel more presentable and opens the door warily.</p><p>“Hello, is this Mr. Chae Hyungwon’s residence?” The man asks him, smiling.</p><p>He holds a package in his hand, a tablet in the other.</p><p>Minhyuk crosses his arms together as he takes a small step outside. It’s cold outside.</p><p>The delivery van’s parked in front of the house, and he notices the umbrella the man has placed by the steps.</p><p>“Yes,” he answers, looking up at the man under the sound of the pitter patter of a gentle rain. “But he’s not home. I’m his fiancé. Is this package for him?”</p><p>“Yes, now if I may just get you to sign here as proof of the package’s delivery?”</p><p>He’s showed the tablet with Hyungwon’s information displayed. His full name, identity number and their address. Minhyuk takes the small pen offered to him and leaves his signature at the bottom, keys in his details and the delivery man finally hands him the package.</p><p>It’s quite heavy in his hands, not bigger than a cake box. The delivery man bids him a kind thank you and goodbye, and opens up his umbrella.</p><p>And the umbrella opens up with a smooth whooshing sound, shooting speckles of rainwater in the air and suddenly Minhyuk’s looking at a ground decorated with patches of a tree’s shade under the sunlight, the sound of buzzing in a forest and a whisper of someone chanting some kind of poetry.</p><p>The van’s engine roars up in defiance under the sound of the rain and Minhyuk’s back again, blinking out the intruding, unfamiliar images in his mind as he shoos Luna back into the house while the van leaves. </p><p>The cat was curious about the stranger just now, but now she’s interested in the package.</p><p>“It’s not your toys or treats,” Minhyuk tells her, closing the door to block out the sound of the rain again, and walks upstairs with Luna trailing after him.</p><p>He wonders what to do with the package when he’s back in his bedroom, staring at it just sitting there on the bed.</p><p>He could just keep it somewhere, until Hyungwon comes back. It’s addressed to Hyungwon only anyway, so it must be some research related things. He stares at the red sticker that says fragile, and sighs, deciding to put it in Hyungwon’s study.   </p><p>But as soon as he walks out of his bedroom, there Luna is again, standing in front of the door to Hyungwon’s study.</p><p>He stares at the sight before him. The black cat standing in the middle of the hallway, waiting for the door to open.</p><p>And it feels like the door might just open.</p><p>So with the dull pounding of his heart, Minhyuk walks to it slowly, the cat barely noting his presence at the door.</p><p>He turns the doorknob and pushes the door open.</p><p>And the study’s rather dark, and empty.</p><p>He expects it to be so.</p><p>Luna runs inside, and Minhyuk follows her carefully, treading into the room warily somehow.</p><p>Gracefully as if the room isn’t wrongly empty, Luna jumps onto the chair by the desk and curls into herself there.</p><p>Minhyuk looks around.</p><p>He doesn’t go in there that much, always working on his own things in his own work room where he’d paint for hours if he could. He’d leave Hyungwon to do his own work, if it means Hyungwon leaves him with the privacy to be in his own creative space with no distractions.</p><p>He looks at the whiteboard Hyungwon has in the study, pasted with some photos that Kihyun must have taken, and some cutouts of articles, with sentences highlighted, underlined. The photos are of what seems to be some old shrines and buildings in ruins, accompanied by older black and white pictures of it when they were still taken care of that Hyungwon must have acquired through his research. There’s a cutout of a map pasted on the whiteboard too, and Hyungwon had an arrow pointing at the map in black marker ink, followed by three question marks.</p><p>There are two columns Hyungwon has drawn with a red marker at the corner of the board, titled ‘Similarities’ and ‘Differences’. But the content is empty.</p><p>Minhyuk remembers how Hyungwon had explained the techniques he usually uses to keep his brain working and make connections. </p><p>It was during dinner at that restaurant that served Hyungwon’s favorite pasta dish.</p><p>Hyungwon had taken his hand on the table, palm up, and told him, “For example, if I am researching on two separate events, I would try to find similarities and differences between the two events.”</p><p>He pointed at Minhyuk’s palm, and had drawn two columns as he had spoken the two words. </p><p>“Let’s talk about why we fit each other, first, we have a lot of similarities.”</p><p>Minhyuk had chuckled in the dim lighting of the restaurant, chin propped on one hand as he had watched amusedly at whatever Hyungwon was coming up with.</p><p>“We’re both handsome,” Hyungwon had muttered, writing it down with his finger and Minhyuk looked at the engagement ring he’s wearing. “And for differences…”</p><p>He had looked up at Minhyuk, and hummed almost thoughtfully that Minhyuk just scoffed at him, yet endeared by the whole thing anyway, just feeling his hand resting on Hyungwon’s warm palm, and the fingers lightly, securely encasing his hand on the table.</p><p>“You are a chatterbox, and I am not,” Hyungwon decided finally, writing it down with his fingertip again and the action tickled but Minhyuk had gasped.</p><p>“You talk a lot too,” he had retaliated.</p><p>And Hyungwon shrugged, “Okay, then you are a chatterbox, and I am a chatterbox but <em> just a little less </em>.”</p><p>Minhyuk laughed, and Hyungwon chuckled as he wrote it down, sounding like a child. Despite his usual stoic air when it came to certain things, it was in this kind of moment that Minhyuk would find him acting like a child, giddy and always up to impress. </p><p>Minhyuk loves that about him.</p><p>And Minhyuk still doesn’t understand the thought process that goes into his work, but it brings Hyungwon a lot of acknowledgement from the community, with the awards displayed on the shelf in the room.</p><p>Meanwhile, like Kihyun’s desk last night, Hyungwon’s desk is also littered with files and articles. Some more photos printed out.</p><p>He moves them around to clear a space for the package on to the desk.</p><p>And then he just stares at it, in the room where Hyungwon’s presence somehow feels the strongest, with the blanket draped on the back of the chair at the desk, his handwritings on the board and the framed pictures of his father and then the two of them from their trip to a historical town on the desk.</p><p>Everything feels very Hyungwon in the room. It is his space after all.</p><p>And Hyungwon likes having pictures of Minhyuk around. The first thing he puts on his desk when they moved in, and there’s one in his wallet too. He also likes Minhyuk’s painting of a small wooden boat in the sea so much he bought it and hung it in the study to stare at as he took breaks from writing. </p><p>That was how they met. The purchase of a painting for Hyungwon’s peace of mind.</p><p>On the painted canvas, the glow of the sun on the horizon of the dark blue sea is a subdued red. Minhyuk and Hyungwon both could never really agree whether it is of the sunrise or the sunset, eventhough Minhyuk was the one who painted it.</p><p>But the painting’s only dark blue now, in the room where the curtains are closed.</p><p>Minhyuk can’t take the curiosity bubbling up in him, reaching for the pair of scissors Hyungwon keeps with all his other stationeries on the big desk, and cutting up the wrapping on the package.</p><p>In the box he finds another wooden box.</p><p>And on top is a thick envelope. </p><p><em> ‘To Chae Hyungwon’ </em>written in cursive and blue ink on the white envelope. But nowhere is written who the sender is. Even the return address on the package is of some sort of a research organization. But the letter is personalized, informal. Like instead of it being a formal delivery for Hyungwon’s research it is also some sort of a personal gift for him.</p><p>The envelope is sealed shut when he turns it around in his hand, and Minhyuk knows better than to rip it open and read it without permission, so he sets it aside, and takes the wooden box out instead.</p><p>It isn’t locked, and it’s sturdy as Minhyuk shakes it a little. It also feels a little old in his two hands, like the wood the box is made of is from a tree that has lived a long time ago, way older than Minhyuk and yet died way before Minhyuk too.</p><p>He opens it up, finds something in there wrapped in thick bubble wraps.</p><p>He picks it up, finds another envelope inside. But the bubble wrap is more interesting so Minhyuk unwraps it carefully in the rather dark room during the day.</p><p>It’s an old camera.</p><p>It’s puzzling, what it is, and what it could mean to Hyungwon’s research.</p><p>He turns it round and round in his hands, the heavy, small old device. It smells old too. Probably an antique. Minhyuk’s seen them before, but never in real life, let alone in his hands. Kihyun talks about antique cameras sometimes.</p><p>He opens up the front part, and finds the lens inside. He remembers how Kihyun said they need to be pulled out, so he pulls the lens out and out it comes rather smoothly, and it settles in place with a small screw hooking it to the other end of the camera outside.</p><p>He examines it further, finding the buttons, figuring out what they might do from experience in playing around with Kihyun’s collection of cameras alone.</p><p>And he finds the viewfinder.</p><p>Curious, he brings it up to his face and shuts one eye tightly as he looks through the viewfinder. He looks around the room, trying to focus the lens but not quite figuring out how to as the camera just shows him the view of the blurry, messy desk.</p><p>He turns around instead towards the windows.</p><p>And in the blurry vision of the viewfinder, he finds Hyungwon standing by the windows, holding onto the curtain.</p><p>Minhyuk’s breath gets caught in his throat. It’s blurry but it’s him.</p><p>It’s unmistakably Hyungwon with his tall stature and frame. Minhyuk would never mistake any other person as Hyungwon.</p><p>And Hyungwon’s staring out the window thoughtfully, his gaze distant. “It’s raining again,” he murmurs.</p><p>And Minhyuk gasps like he just resurfaced from underwater, dropping the camera onto the floor as he staggers backwards, almost losing his balance in panic.</p><p>Luna hops off the chair, sniffing at the camera as Minhyuk can’t quite believe the viewfinder and his eyes. His heart is pounding madly, his mind is spinning and spinning and tears pool in his eyes.</p><p>Finding the room empty like before again, and the curtains swaying, the gap in between showing him the sight of the rain outside.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello again! If you havent read the first part of the series, you should know the pacing for this is completely different, so my advice as an author is you can go and read the slowburn, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25443985/chapters/61709626">Perpetual White chapter 1-4</a> to better enjoy the series now!! Or you can do whatever you want  </p><p>I say this a lot but this series was written in a state of mental deterioration so pls excuse me if its shitty but it would also be really nice to know what you readers think about it too!</p><p>So you should leave a comment and feedbacks! I would really appreciate it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As soon as Kihyun enters the house, he is surprised to see Minhyuk on the couch, practically chewing on his nails.</p><p>“Minhyuk?” he calls worriedly, scrutinizing his friend’s tense expression.</p><p>Minhyuk blinks out of his trance and looks at his friend. “Oh, Kihyun.”</p><p>“You okay?” Kihyun comes from the doorway with some bags. Probably more of his belongings since he’ll be staying there for a while.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Minhyuk shifts on the living room couch, watching as Kihyun takes off his wet coat, already putting the kettle on in the kitchen. “Hey, Kihyun?”</p><p>Kihyun turns around, raising his eyebrows at him as he walks to his friend.</p><p>Minhyuk stares at Kihyun for a moment, contemplating. He remembers how real it felt seeing Hyungwon by the window. How Hyungwon has looked out at the sight outside, something he has always liked to do.</p><p>Every details, the squinting of his focused eyes, the soft hair of his falling over his forehead. The low, tender rumble of his voice, full of thoughts. His slender fingers holding onto the fabric of the curtain which wrinkled in his hand. Everything was Hyungwon. Everything felt real.</p><p>“Did—did they call you? Did they find anything?” Minhyuk asks expectantly instead.</p><p>“No,” Kihyun sighs under the sound of the tv playing the news, taking a seat on the other end of the couch. </p><p>Minhyuk left it on to fill the silence in the house. To drown out the sound of the rain that reminded him of the night on the bridge. And most importantly to calm himself down after he has shut the study’s door and run downstairs, losing his mind.</p><p>“You really okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Kihyun mutters, and he looks really worried.</p><p>Minhyuk shakes his head, because he’s sure he didn’t. And also because he’s disappointed there aren’t any news on the search. He pulls up his knees on to the couch, wrapping his arms around them.</p><p>“I just want him to return,” he whispers.</p><p>The rain has slowed down to a drizzle outside. Through the glass door looking over the yard, Minhyuk could see the small bamboo trees Hyungwon planted drip raindrops from its thin leaves. The first thing they grew together in the house they share. A symbol. A reminder of the day they walked into that yard and imagined all the things they could fill it with together, a mark of how long the house will be lived in.</p><p>The bamboos were Hyungwon’s dedication. And pride. Other than Minhyuk, he has told Minhyuk one time.</p><p>“They’ll continue searching,” Kihyun tells him.</p><p>Minhyuk shuts his eyes tightly, hiding his face into his arms as he prays and prays that Hyungwon would return and all this would be over soon. He has hope. He has hope that Hyungwon is out there and that they would resume their life as before once Hyungwon returns. Hyungwon would be in this house again, and he would be smug about the bamboos he planted and tease Minhyuk about the blue carnations of Minhyuk’s that had instead withered away.</p><p>Hyungwon’s strong. He knows it and it’s what he loves Hyungwon for. That is why he <em> will </em> return.</p><p>It is hard for Minhyuk himself to remain strong in Hyungwon’s absence, but Minhyuk truly wouldn’t know what to do if he loses hope that his source of strength is no more.</p><p>And silence falls upon the two friends in the house as the rain continues to drizzle. Kihyun clasps his hands together, contemplating.</p><p>He speaks after a moment, “Is it okay if I enter Hyungwon’s study?”</p><p>Minhyuk looks up at him, thinking of the camera that he just dropped on to the floor. He doesn’t know if it broke from the fall, and doesn’t know if he would get in trouble with Hyungwon and Kihyun if it did.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Kihyun offers a small smile. “I still have to continue the research. Some of the materials are still with him.”</p><p>Understanding that they still have deadlines to adhere to, Minhyuk nods. He gets up from the couch to show Kihyun he’d go there too. And while Kihyun seems unsure of him going in there, not knowing Minhyuk has done so, he still thanked Minhyuk for the permission.</p><p>It’s no big deal, Minhyuk thinks. Hyungwon’s work has to continue, so it’ll be easier for him to catch up when he returns. Minhyuk knows how passionate he is about his work. He wouldn’t want it to get cancelled just because he’s missing for a few days.</p><p>He leads the way upstairs, Luna following them from behind on her little feet.</p><p>Minhyuk doesn’t hesitate to open the door, and it’s the same dark, empty study again. He swallows a lump in his throat as he looks at the spot where he has seen Hyungwon standing.</p><p>“Oh, the camera arrived?” Kihyun scurries inside to pick up the camera on the floor. “Why is it on the floor?” He asks, frantically examining the device for any damage.</p><p>“Yeah, uh, a deliveryman sent it earlier today,” Minhyuk explains, fidgeting with his engagement ring. “I was curious so I opened the package… and Luna must have pushed it off the desk when I called her to exit the room…”</p><p>Luna stares up at him at the mention of her name, slowly rubbing her face against Minhyuk’s calves.</p><p>Kihyun sighs, looking up at him in relief. “Thank god it’s not broken,” he says as he gets up from the floor.</p><p>Minhyuk turns the light on as Kihyun checks on the desk.</p><p>He watches as Kihyun looks through the two envelopes, leaves the one with Hyungwon’s name on it and takes the one in the wooden box. He also looks through the files, and takes some.</p><p>Minhyuk tidies up some of the books on a coffee table by the faint chair in the room meanwhile, refolds the crumpled blanket Hyungwon keeps draped on the back of his chair too.</p><p>He looks back at the window. And the rain has stopped. The sky still dark and gloomy. No one else is in the room other than him, Kihyun, and Luna. He stares at the camera on the desk.</p><p>And puts it back into the wooden box before they exited the study.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kihyun is reading through the files while they have tea in the kitchen. Minhyuk watches him read with furrowed eyebrows, sipping on his tea every now and then.</p><p>“I have to contact my clients,” Minhyuk starts. “I don’t think I can paint.”</p><p>Kihyun raises his eyebrows at him, and nod understandingly. “Do you want me to do it for you?”</p><p>Minhyuk shakes his head. “I’ll do it myself.”</p><p>Kihyun nods. “Tell me if you need me to do anything.”</p><p>“You’re already taking care of Hyungwon’s work in his absence.”</p><p>Kihyun shrugs, taking the envelope and then looking into the content. It’s not sealed shut like the one with Hyungwon’s name on it.</p><p>“What’s inside?” Minhyuk asks gently.</p><p>“They’re old films that we have acquired for the research. If I develop them, we might get some more pictures of the site at the time of our topic of research.”</p><p>Minhyuk nods. “Would you like to use Hyungwon’s dark room for that?”</p><p>“Yes, please.”</p><p>“It’s right next to the storage room. It’s the spare bathroom but Hyungwon turned it into a makeshift dark room.”</p><p>Kihyun smiles at him, looking glad that his work is still going to progress smoothly even if he’s away from his own home.</p><p>“Hey,” Kihyun asks once he’s finished his tea and Minhyuk’s still swirling his spoon in his lukewarm one. “Would you like to come with me later?”</p><p>Minhyuk looks at him expectantly, confused.</p><p>“I’ll be visiting the research site, to take more photos,” Kihyun explains. “Get you out somewhere? Get some air?”</p><p>Thinking of how he’s spent some time in the hospital, and now in the house alone, Minhyuk nods. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minhyuk keeps checking on his new phone the whole ride out of the city. It’s a long drive and Kihyun has put on some music that he sings along to on the long road.</p><p>Minhyuk fidgets with his engagement ring when he’s not checking on his phone, looks out the window at the grey sky.</p><p>The seatbelt feels really tight on him, and sometimes there are flashes of the night road in his head and he has to blink them out. And instead in his mind he sees Hyungwon in his study again.</p><p>There are explanations for what he saw in the study. It was a product of his imagination. He’s missing Hyungwon too terribly and it has always been a habit of Hyungwon to look out the window, with his hand on the curtain. It was Minhyuk’s mind reproducing what he’s seen a million times. It’s his mind playing tricks to sooth the pain of missing his fiancé.</p><p>The mind does terrible things in an attempt to soothe. Minhyuk knows that very well. He knows better than believing what he saw in the study.</p><p>And he’s not going to tell Kihyun about it either. Kihyun would think he’s lost it.</p><p>No. He’s staying strong for Hyungwon. Because Hyungwon has always been the strong one, lending his strength to Minhyuk to get through any obstacles. He’s still out there, that’s why Minhyuk has strength to get through his disappearance until he comes back to Minhyuk.</p><p>Kihyun drives them into the mountains, where the asphalt fades into dirt road and the trees are tall and rustling.</p><p>There is no signal on the phone.</p><p>Minhyuk’s breathing grows heavier out of the car when he finds out.</p><p>And Kihyun notices, quickly placing a hand on his shoulder, leaving the trunk open from where he had been packing some of his photography equipment.</p><p>“Kihyun there’s no signal around here,” He tells his friend, frantically raising his phone in the air. “How are the search team going to contact us if—”</p><p>“Minhyuk,” Kihyun pulls at his arm to face him, noticing the rising panic in the other. “Hey, <em> hey </em>.”</p><p>Minhyuk shakes his head. “If they find him I’m going to—”</p><p>“If they find him, they’ll find him. And he will return to you regardless,” Kihyun tells him earnestly, squeezing his arm comfortingly.</p><p>His breathings slowed down in his panic. All the almost hysterical thoughts fading into whispers in his mind.</p><p>Over Kihyun’s shoulder is what seems like an abandoned, broken down old house. Minhyuk stares at it. The really big house—<em> manor </em> that must date at least a hundred years judging from its traditional design. It must also belong to a very powerful and large family.</p><p>It reminds him that they’re there for Hyungwon’s work. Hyungwon would be glad if his work isn’t interfered in its progress.</p><p>So he nods, gripping on his phone. This is also for Hyungwon. “You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry.”</p><p>Kihyun sighs a little, and his shoulders slump in his worry. “We should head home.”</p><p>“No,” Minhyuk quickly disagrees. “I was being stupid. This won’t take long.”</p><p>Kihyun seems unsure, but Minhyuk picks up his camera bag for him. It’s heavy hanging on his shoulder, helpfully keeping him grounded.</p><p>“Let’s go.”</p><p>He walks without looking back, passing by an old stone marker on the ground, covered by dead leaves, he notices. The people who used to live there must have worshiped some kind of deity that was carved on the stone. Possibly for safety of those who pass by, Minhyuk’s thinking as he walks.</p><p>And he stops dead in his track when he sees two men in dark robes standing in front of the old manor. They’re muttering something, walking towards the entrance and Minhyuk can’t make their words out but he blinks and they vanished into thin air.</p><p>He gasps.</p><p>“You okay?” Kihyun catches up to him.</p><p>Minhyuk can’t breathe, but he doesn’t make it obvious. Just blinks and tells Kihyun, “I’m fine.”</p><p>Kihyun takes the heavy bag from him. “Would it be better if you wait in the car?”</p><p>“No,” Minhyuk looks up at the manor, feeling his heart beating harder and harder as he stares at the old manor before them. The run down walls, the top floor had collapsed on some parts, what remained of the roofs creating mountains of rubbles. It feels like it’s beckoning him in. He can’t quite decipher the feeling either, but seeing the two men walking into the manor tugs at him to follow.</p><p>And so he tells Kihyun they should go inside.</p><p>There’s a huge old gate made up of two vertical posts, and a horizontal one connecting them on the top, just looming over them as they walk towards the manor, and Minhyuk looks up at it as they walk under it wondering if it was regarded as sacred— if the manor was too— shifting his gaze then at the broken down door that leads into the manor.</p><p>It seems like someone, or something enormously strong has forced the giant doors open and broken into the manor. Remains and evidence of the force are the wreckage it left behind.</p><p>“What is this place?” Minhyuk asks when they entered and the foyer’s roof have holes in them, the sunlight breach through and Minhyuk can see dust flying everywhere. </p><p>In the corners there are old vases that have turned black from time. Some broke in smithereens.</p><p>The walls are rotting, some have rotten completely. He could see traditional sliding doors that people rarely have in their homes anymore, just ripped apart and he could see through some of the rooms.</p><p>Everything seems to be decaying inside the old manor.</p><p>And there are crows squawking outside, the sound echoing into the empty manor where all life has left it to rot.</p><p>“This place used to be a whole village,” Kihyun tells him, walking into a big, spacious room.</p><p>The beams are high up on the ceiling, still strong despite the rotting holes in them. In the middle is what Minhyuk recognizes as an old fashioned hearth. There are still coals in there.</p><p>“This is the only surviving building still intact,” Kihyun sets down his bag to get his equipment out. </p><p>“Where did the people go?” Minhyuk asks, still looking around while Kihyun raises one of his cameras and adjusts his lens.</p><p>“We don’t know,” Kihyun tells him.</p><p>And Minhyuk turns to him to give him a confused look.</p><p>“That’s why we’re here.”</p><p>And Kihyun starts taking pictures. He takes pictures of the room from different angles. The beams, the damaged roofs. Minhyuk watches. Kihyun looks through the pictures he has taken on his camera, frowning in his concentration, in his elements.</p><p>Hyungwon and Minhyuk had joked that they would hire him for their wedding.</p><p>And Kihyun had whined, said that he can’t drink if they turn their wedding into a job. Minhyuk felt bad joking about it.</p><p>But Hyungwon told him later at home that Kihyun would actually be glad to take pictures at their wedding. Not as a professional, but just as a friend keeping their memories together maybe.</p><p>That would be better, Minhyuk had said. He wants his friends to have fun at their wedding too.</p><p>And Hyungwon had kissed him, whispered to him how he’s counting the days to that day.</p><p>Minhyuk shakes the memory out of his mind, looking up at the hole in the roof just so the tears would subside.</p><p>It starts to drizzle, he notices.</p><p>Kihyun notes it, telling him it’s fine since they’re inside. And that he has an umbrella in his bag.</p><p>So Minhyuk preoccupies himself with Kihyun’s equipment. He sets up the tripod for Kihyun after getting permission to do so.</p><p>Kihyun’s taking notes here and there, takes more pictures and walks around, scrutinizing the architecture. Sometimes he disappears into one of the neighboring rooms, unable to go far because most of the rooms have the upper floor collapsing on it, preventing further exploration. Yet Kihyun removes some of the wreckage himself, taking more pictures.</p><p>Bored, Minhyuk picks up one of his camera, turns it on.</p><p>It’s heavy in his hands, but he knows how to take a picture properly with one of these models. So he takes a picture of the roof, focusing the lens easily, and then checking on it after.</p><p>He looks at Kihyun, Kihyun doesn’t seem to notice he’s taken one of his cameras.</p><p>Feeling a little mischievous, he takes some more pictures too, imitating Kihyun’s professionalism.</p><p>He turns around, aims the camera at a dark hallway and almost drops the camera at what he sees.</p><p>It’s Hyungwon.</p><p>Hyungwon’s back at least, and he’s walking slowly into the hallway.</p><p>Learning from his mistake before, Minhyuk keeps the camera tighter in his hand, refocusing the lens and finding that it is unmistakably Hyungwon. It’s a clear picture, compared to the unfocused lens back in the study.</p><p>He gasps softly, lowering the camera just to make sure and somehow Hyungwon’s still there, getting farther away.</p><p>“<em> Hyungwon </em>,” He barely croaks out, tears filling his eyes as his feet move on their own, chasing after Hyungwon.</p><p>Hyungwon doesn’t hear him, keeps walking, turning to the left in the hallway and Minhyuk hastens his steps.</p><p>“Hyungwon, wait,” Minhyuk calls softly, unable to raise his voice any louder in his urgency.</p><p>And Hyungwon’s whispers echo and repeat in the long, decaying, dark hallway.</p><p>“<em> It is not right </em> ,” he says. “ <em> To just leave. </em>”</p><p>
  <em> It is not right. It is not right. It is not right. </em>
</p><p>The whispers echo and echo in Minhyuk’s ears, and they’re ringing by the time Minhyuk takes a sharp turn to the left only to find nothing except some rubbles blocking his path.</p><p>And it’s bright and quiet there, dusts float in the air, visible through the large hole in the roof where the rubbles must have collapsed through.</p><p>Hyungwon’s nowhere.</p><p>The whisperings have stopped. There are no other sounds except the light drizzle that falls into the building.</p><p>Minhyuk covers his mouth with a hand to swallow down his choking. Thinking that he saw Hyungwon. Thinking that Hyungwon’s there. </p><p>When Hyungwon would never be anywhere near there because his car crashed on a bridge miles away.</p><p>So he swallows back all his tears when he hears Kihyun’s steps.</p><p>“Minhyuk, don’t wander off!” Kihyun complains in the quiet hallway, obviously worried. “Some part of this house is not safe to explore.”</p><p>He recomposes himself, already walking out of the hallway with an apology and then putting back Kihyun’s camera into his bag. Kihyun trails after him with his heavy bags, worried.</p><p>“You okay?” Kihyun asks, panting and putting back his equipment.</p><p>Minhyuk nods. Doesn’t want to speak. If he speaks his voice is going to shake and Kihyun is going to know something’s wrong.</p><p>Kihyun just squeezes him on the shoulder.</p><p>And all the ride home Minhyuk thinks of the night road in the rain, the lightning in the distance. Hyungwon speaking to him in the darkness of the car and the moment where everything went wrong.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There are no calls or messages once they’re home.</p><p>And it’s dark already outside. It rains again. It’s getting colder.</p><p>Minhyuk just crumbles on the couch with the phone in his hand. Gathering his knees into himself and hiding his face into the curls of his limbs.</p><p>Kihyun has checked on his phone too and there is no news. </p><p>“Minhyuk,” Kihyun has sighed sadly, a hand on his shoulder. “They’re still searching.”</p><p>Minhyuk sobs, feeling stupid. Feeling hurt. “It’s all my fault,” He manages to choke out in between his tears.</p><p>“What? No, don’t blame yourself—”</p><p>“This shouldn’t have happened,” Minhyuk disagrees, shaking his head and the tears are just flowing like rivers, the rain is loud outside and he has seen Hyungwon in the study, in the manor. He was right there. And Minhyuk just saw him leave, disappear.</p><p>He just wants Hyungwon back. </p><p>He still has hope but he’s also going crazy because he can’t live without Hyungwon.</p><p>“I shouldn’t have been out of the car,” Minhyuk sobs. Hyungwon had told him to put on his seatbelt, but Minhyuk had bypassed the sensors and told him it felt a little too tight it was suffocating. “I should have been in there with him.”</p><p>And when the car spun and spun, he shouldn’t have been thrown out to lie on the asphalt alone. He shouldn’t have been the only one out there similarly how Hyungwon shouldn’t have been the only one falling into the darkness of the strong currents of a river in the storm.</p><p>“I should have fallen off the bridge with him,” Minhyuk chokes out under the sound of the rain. “I should be by his side right now.”</p><p>Wherever Hyungwon is. Wherever he’s disappeared off to.</p><p>Minhyuk should be there, and not in this house, in this safety, sheltered from the rain. </p><p>But submerged in the water that night with the one he loves.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minhyuk stands in front of the manor.</p><p>It’s night. And there is snow falling.</p><p>He looks up the sky and there is no moon.</p><p>He doesn’t know why he’s here, and what he’s doing here.</p><p>But he sees Hyungwon walking into the manor, holding up a blue lantern to light up his way. So Minhyuk chases after Hyungwon. The thick snow crunches under his heavy steps, the wind blows into his ear loudly in his speed.</p><p>“Hyungwon!” He calls urgently, already running towards his fiancé, tears filling his eyes. He’s not losing Hyungwon again. But his steps are so heavy in the snow, as much as he wants to move faster the night is heavy on his limbs. “I’m sorry! I should be there with you! Turn around, <em> please </em>!”</p><p>But Hyungwon doesn’t seem to hear him as he just walks to the giant closed door of the manor.</p><p>Minhyuk gets closer and closer and the closer he gets the fader Hyungwon looks standing there. And Hyungwon slowly turns around, where he finally fades into nothing before Minhyuk could even look at his face.</p><p>Minhyuk’s out of breath, looking around frantically for any signs of Hyungwon but finding none. Just finds darkness, and snow and more white snow.</p><p>The door creaks open slowly in front of him and Minhyuk takes a step back warily, expecting a rotten, decaying old house inside but instead met with a foyer lighted with lanterns that light with the color blue. The vases in the corners are filled with blue flowers, carefully arranged as if for a celebration.</p><p>The door remains open, as if awaiting Minhyuk’s entrance.</p><p>And it isn’t strange at all, for Minhyuk to feel drawn to enter the manor with careful steps.</p><p>And the manor is in perfect condition, he finds, staring at the hallway in the foyer that leads to the rest of the house, and finding a black silhouette coming closer in the blue lights.</p><p>The person is dressed in what Minhyuk would recognize as a priest’s garment—except it’s strangely in the color black. He holds a stave in one hand too, where the metal rings on the top end rattle along with each of his steps towards Minhyuk.</p><p>The priest wears a tall black headdress, that has a sheer veil falling off his head, as if an attempt at covering his face from recognition. There are two long strips of cloth attached to it, falling down his shoulders too, covered with characters that Minhyuk can’t seem to understand.</p><p>Minhyuk tries to make out the face behind the veil, but it is unfamiliar. A stranger.</p><p>And he doesn’t know how he has come to the conclusion, but he just <em> knows </em> that the priest has come to welcome him, and escort him into the manor. </p><p>He knows he has to follow the priest through the hallway where the priest came from. And the door closes behind him as he looks back, and there is no one left in the dark foyer.</p><p>The wooden floor creaks just a little under his steps, but is quiet under the priest’s feet. Minhyuk then realizes the floor’s so dark he can’t even see the priest’s feet under the black garment. </p><p>A sliding door opens to the hearth room, where it’s brighter with bigger lanterns with blue flames.</p><p>And Minhyuk looks in wonder at the large space and beautiful room the manor boasts, where everything is kept in perfect condition including the stairs in the corner.</p><p>He hears some chantings somewhere— like a lullaby, and finds another sliding doors—slowly, gently opening at the other end after they have crossed the hearth room. </p><p>It leads to the courtyard, where the snow is still falling gently from the sky.</p><p>The priest walks and Minhyuk follows.</p><p>He thinks he sees a big shrine from a distance, up a giant and tall stone stairs, and they seem to be heading towards it. There are flower wreaths decorating the altar, there are bells lightly tinkling in the winter wind.</p><p>There’s also a person waiting halfway through there, dressed in dark blue robe, wearing a tall, white headdress that’s a little different from the priest’s but speaks of importance of the person’s role in whatever it is that is going on in the place.</p><p>Minhyuk stops.</p><p>There’s a sound of crying coming from the person.</p><p>The priest keeps walking.</p><p>Minhyuk can’t seem to breathe. The person in the dark blue robe turns around as if to greet him, and when Minhyuk sees the face he recognizes it immediately.</p><p>It’s like looking into the mirror. Uncanny.</p><p>And Minhyuk doesn’t know why there’s a painful, heavy dread that just fills up his entire body, as if weighing him down as the person just steps closer to him and when he blinks the person just seems to come more steps closer and there is fear crawling up Minhyuk’s spine as the chantings drown under the loud screeching noise of cries and weepings.</p><p>He swivels around in panic, too slowly for his liking as everything just seems to blur and become distorted, his breathings sound like it comes from another world, and the lullaby is still being sung under the wailing as he starts to run, only to find his feet struggling to pick up speed.</p><p>He rips the sliding doors open again, hears the rattling of the priest’s stave behind him, and just uses all the strength he has to run, escape, <em> get away </em> as far as he could but his body doesn’t seem to listen to him as it just continues to move in slow motion.</p><p>And he looks back, and he sees a face similar to his. A little more paler, <em> blue </em> and sadder. <em> White </em>.</p><p>
  <em> “I don’t want to feel anymore.” </em>
</p><p>With a pleading hand reaching out to him, fingers barely brushing against his shoulder and Minhyuk screams but nothing comes out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Minhyuk jolts awake in his bed with a shout of fear and tears in his eyes, gasping for much needed oxygen, drenched in cold sweat, but finds himself in the safety of his own bedroom.</p><p>And suddenly, a crippling pain that stings and stabs is clawing on the back of his right shoulder and he whimpers painfully on the bed, crumpling the sheets with one hand and another clutching at his shoulder as the pain grows and grows.</p><p>He’s curling into himself in the pain, when the door is suddenly shoved open and it’s Kihyun.</p><p>“Minhyuk,” he’s panting and his eyes are wide when Minhyuk looks over to him, the pain in his shoulder pulsating at the look Kihyun is wearing. “They found the car.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if you are reading this do you have any suggestion how to tag the story better</p><p>i am just really bad at tagging </p><p>pls leave suggestions below!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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